“It’s Not You, It’s… Actually, It Might Be Both of Us.”
Common Relationship Woes & What to Do About Them
Let’s be real—relationships can be beautiful, life-affirming, soul-nourishing magic… and they can also be messy, confusing, and occasionally make you want to scream into a pillow.
Whether you’re navigating your third “we need to talk” conversation this week or wondering why your texts suddenly started getting ghosted after a deep convo about your shared love for oat milk lattes—you’re not alone.
Relationships are hard. But they don’t have to be mysterious.
Let’s break down a few of the most common concerns people face in relationships—and what you can actually do about them (besides Googling “how to argue better but win”).
💬 1. The “We Don’t Communicate” Problem
You’re talking—but are you hearing each other?
Sometimes it’s not what you say, it’s how (and when, and where) you say it.
Pro Tip:
Try switching out “You never listen to me!” with “I feel unheard when I share something important and it’s dismissed.”
Less courtroom drama, more emotional clarity. Instead of focusing on your partner’s shortcomings, try focusing on how you are affected when something difficult occurs in the relationship.
🧊 2. The Emotional Ice Age
You used to text all day, now you’re two roommates silently passing each other granola in the kitchen.
If emotional distance has crept in, it might be time for reconnection—not just routine.
Pro Tip:
Schedule intentional time to check in—no phones, no distractions, no doom-scrolling. Just 15 minutes of being humans together. Look at this scheduled time together as an opportunity to listen, to be heard, and to learn something new about how to move forward. It may also be a good idea to touch on the main aspects of the relationship that you’re grateful for, as well as the parts of it that you’d like to improve together as a team. It’s not about perfection – it’s about progress, so celebrate the moments in which you’re able to carve this time out together to reconnect. We celebrate all wins, big and small so thank each other for being willing to show up and share space together reconnecting this way. The intention you have when showing up to these reconnection moments, and the efforts you make in speaking honestly, showing vulnerability, and sharing space together are things to be celebrated – even if your relationship isn’t where you want it to be yet. That’s ok! Relationships are a process in action and if you keep these habits up, you’ll be well on your way.
🤝 3. Trust Issues, Anyone?
Whether it’s past baggage, micro-cheating, or just an intuitive feeling something’s off, trust is foundational. But it can be rebuilt—with work, honesty, and ideally not using each other’s screen time reports as evidence.
Pro Tip:
Be transparent, not defensive. And if you’re on the receiving end? Ask curious—not accusatory—questions.
It can be so hard to engage in “difcos” (difficult conversations), but our relationships can benefit significantly if we have the courage to go boldly (and gently) into uncomfortable and difficult conversations with our partners. This requires that we listen with an open heart when we are receiving difficult feedback, and it also requires that we provide responses and present questions with soft tones and gentle volumes. I know that’s a tall order, especially when we’re talking about emotional themes, but remember: the “tones and volumes” of a conversation can often dictate how people engage in conversation with us. Loud, accusatory tones and volumes can often trigger our partners to potentially respond to us in the same manner, so choose your tones and volumes wisely. If we want our conversations about trust to be productive, we have to be intentional about “how” we approach them.
🔁 4. Same Fight, Different Day
If you feel like you’re stuck in a loop—yep, that’s a pattern.
You’re probably not arguing about the dishes. It’s about feeling disrespected, unsupported, or unheard.
Pro Tip:
Zoom out. What’s the theme of your arguments? Address the root, not just the latest symptom.
What does this mean? It means that you’ll have to do the work to identify what the root cause of your issues are. Most repetitive arguments have an emotional underpinning and it’ll be your job to identify what that is so that you can build some relevant and effective solutions around the issue.
🧠 When in Doubt, Therapy It Out
Sometimes the most loving thing you can do for your relationship is… get help.
That doesn’t mean something’s broken. It means you care enough to strengthen what matters.
Working with a therapist (solo or as a couple) can help you build skills, uncover patterns, and stop arguing over whose turn it is to pick the next Netflix show.
Relationships are a Team Sport
Relationships are a team sport.
You can’t control your partner’s every move (thank goodness), but you can work on how you show up, how you communicate, and when to ask for support.
We’re here for all of it.
Whether you’re trying to mend a rift or just sharpen your relationship skills, we’ve got a team of therapists ready to support you—virtually, confidentially, and without judgment.
📅 Book your first session today and start navigating love with a little more clarity (and a little less chaos).
